My new jammers!
I took a pair of Dee Cees down to Aunt Minnie and got her to sew some feet on 'em so now I gots me some real jammers. I shore am shittin in high cotton an' next thang you know I'll be awipin my ass on the stalks!
You know, more I thank bout it more I figure lumber musta fell on Dan's head. I say that cause ole man Twerdy Monroe what lives down the lane from me got his head caught tween two big cypress logs when his boom chain parted on him an' he had that same kinda look in his eyes, like somebody done flipped off the light switch in his gourd. But I reckon a body's got the right to be bigga dumb ass as he wanna be, even Dan Rather. He had 'at ole lady on his show last night an' damn if she don't remind me of ole Miss Puterbaugh what lives over in Browntown and sells pussy for what she call a "kawata." Course now I ain't never bought none it but that's what I hear tell.